I'm guilty...

I've ruined the last corners of my room.
I've pulled my curtains down,blocking out any potential rays of hope.
I've scattered marbles over the tile in my room, in hopes to slip.
I've been laying on the floor for hours.
I've been lying to myself for months...
I've been fighting this war inside of me.
She's better.
She's smarter.
She's the most beautiful creature that I've ever seen.
She knows that I can't stand to love her.
I've been hiding in the floral patterned sheets on my bed.
I've had my chance.my moment,my great escape
Came,and went.
She's crying.
I'm dying...
Dying for more.

She's never been so in love.
She's never been more mortal.
I've never felt more immortal.
Eat her feelings in the darkest corners of your room.
Hide her heart in the floral print sheets.

She's never been in love.
I've never been.

This monster that I have comfortably become...

Stuck in this maze...Damn this!? Again!? This fucking maze talk.
Do you give a fuck? No? Well,that's great because neither do I.

So the fuck what if you're stuck in a situation and,you try,and you try and you just can't get yourself out,who the hell cares...? There's one person who cares; past friend,future, present.
But you're so "lost" in this shit hole of a town...you can't begin to rub the crap out of your eyes and realize, "Holy fucking shit" You're the best 'thing' that I've ever had the chance to come across...

Suddenly that maze you're stuck in,you know,the one you an I really don't give a rats ass about, it seems...better now, it seems as though this being stuck situation had a lighter tone to it,than just your black and gray's.... face it...You were never even in that maze to begin with.

But that god forsaken predicament, is the best that you've ever had....
Don't go and knit pick, don't attempt to blame that person for something....that was never,nor ever will it be their fault.

Now...
.Shower.
.Eat.
.Sleep.

Rinse...

And never repeat...

Ghost town....

What is it with this town?
Papers fly across empty streets.
Whispers are carried through the air, with the loss of atmosphere.

People become dull.
People become animals....
People become...people

I had an interesting night. Very interesting....
"Bitches be crazzzzyyy"
Is my direct quote,that supports the situation that was at hand last night.

To my lovely Adam....I'm very sorry.
You mean the world to me. And so much more. I hope to keep it this way for a long time.
I promise....Not to attempt to push your buttons.


I promise.

Last call...

For your 'Resolutions' for the new year.
I'm a four year strong Vegetarian, I never went Vegan, simply due to the fact that I LOVE cheese, no, I'm IN LOVE with cheese, No, I'm just mad about Dairy products! I don't know how one could possibly choose not to consume it...

Well I took that extra step, as my resolution, to become a Vegan...
This is my short story....

I woke up, and was ready to go out running like I usually do every morning,
I go to the fridge and get out the milk, "damn it!"

I get back from my run, and pour a wondrous bowl of cereal,
"Damn it"

I continue my day, and go to work, we have this awesome mini fridge that we keep snacks in for ourselves and the kids, I'm mad hungry at this point, Bada bing!!!
There's Cheese...."DAMN IT!"

So I woke up today...went to fridge, and just tossed my milk in the mini fridge just in case somebody comes over...they can have it.

What I'm getting at is.....

I LOVE cheese. Milk. Yogurt...Cheese...

Oh,as well as, if you're going to plan a resolution like, go to the gym, be nice to mom no matter what, or anything else that will significantly alter who you were/are....Go through with it.

It just might be worth it.

Happy New Year...

I've come to the grand conclusion that...
New Years eve, had to of been the best moments, I've ever spent counting down to the new year. I mean that in the most explosive way possible....

Everyone,welcome to, the year 2009...

Forever in a deep sleep...

Sometimes, I wish I could sleep forever. Or wake up, and know everything was apart of a dream. A dream that I,myself,made up. To feel comfort, simply to feel...
But, I can go days without a single night of sleep. That must not be very healthy for the human body, or mind.

I lay in bed; I'm swimming in warm sheets,warm water, I'm deep in thought, I'm deep in the ocean,where...for a moment I lost myself.
The breaking of my own panting wakes me.
"How long was I asleep for?" I ask myself....
"Five minutes...and some change..." I reply.

Recently,I've been getting sleep. Some of the best I've ever had.
When I lay next to him, I know it's not a dream, I know when I wake up...he'll be right next to me.

I don't have to get lost in a "dream state" ocean, not anymore...